I am awake!

 

After midday…

 

 

 

 

POETRY (sort of)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roland Michel Tremblay

 

 

 

www.themarginal.com

rm@themarginal.com

 

 

 

 

 

44E The Grove, Isleworth, Middx, London, TW7 4JF, UK

Tel: +44 (0)20 8847 5586  Mobile: +44 (0)794 127 1010

 

 

 

 



Summary

 

The direct way to heaven

Hysteria

The greatest genocide of all

I am awake

Am I to blame?

Warning hot surface

Institutionalised to death

Oh so… meaty

You know who I am

You know who you are

The astonishing power of emotions

Did you forget to put a smiley face on it?

How did we get to be so far gone?

You’re the one thing I can count on

I’ll buy the damn place!

It is an emergency!

I’m just like my dad

Who’s that fucker talking in the background?

Nothing can reach me now

It is never time to think of retirement

Where do we go from here?

You will succeed!

Such a life of freedom

It is all but in the mind

Ball of anger

I’m just about ready to kill someone

Not my most inspired moment

Everywhere I go I cause a panic

I have that right!

Are there any drugs left in this house?

It’s the end of the world

What else could I do to destroy you?

Why?

I’m just about ready to kill myself

I will motivate a whole planet!

I feel great! How do you feel?

You have no idea the life I am leading

I have the right to exist!

You just don’t care, you have to go

We are no parrots!

No one will ever understand you

Absolute elation in my own illusions

Despite anything you will live

You are beyond anything that ever was

Is this real or what?

The last taste of freedom

Life is like a Martini

When being gay is fashionable

The angel of destruction

Eternal ideas

What is this all about?

I’m the queer, you’re the queen

One way or another, we will be free

I sent her into a spin again

Love and Hate so much

How desperate we are

How powerful all this is

I’m out and so should you

We will make it happen!

I will declare independence

Only read into it what it tells you

I’m free!

Life is the search for the perfect title

Your thoughts become your world

This world is not real

Cannot recognise myself

We’ll get there

Get creative! Get to live!

One More Rule

I am the last Crowned Anarchist!

Everything is allowed

I am already dead

No righteous people ever

No truth anywhere

Will you be my apostle?

Read Think Write

This is the beginning of something huge

Awake! And make it happen!

A great destiny is awaiting you

No matter how hard you try

Finally, I am dying

Defying death forever

So many great minds

Nothing to fall back on

No need to think anymore

From such a place to speak

Existing only in one’s mind

We all end up in California

Message to the next humanity

The Next Generation

Fight for it!

We will change this world

I am an American, no longer

No authority required

It is all so simple

Do not fall in love with me

So disabused with life

I’m a poet

I’m not a poet

 


 

 

I am awake!

 

 

 

 

 

The direct way to heaven

 

The most direct way to heaven

Is to be deaf

Is to be blind

Is to remain ignorant

 

Of all that anyone could say

Of anything you could witness

Of anything you could ever become aware of

 

As there is not one angel around you

Never could there be

An angel around you

As we are all the same

And none of us could ever

Find the way to heaven

 

Lies and more lies

Is what defines a nation

From the high ends to the low ones

Is all you could ever find

 

More lies

Enough to fill any bottle

None of which you would be crazy enough

To send out at sea

For anyone to find

Better keep it secret

That we’re all hopeless

 

The most direct way to heaven

Is to be deaf

Is to be blind

Is to remain ignorant

 

It is the only way to heaven

No interaction

No contamination

 

Do not at any rate make contact

With this lost humanity

It will be your downfall

Let it die

As it cannot fail to happen

Crumbling under all their negativity

Until it shrinks to nothingness

 

If you somehow remain innocent

To all those crimes against humanity

Perpetrated by humanity

 

If you somehow remain innocent

To anything remotely human related

Then maybe, just maybe, you might reach heaven

 

Your most direct way to heaven

Is to be deaf

Is to be blind

Is to remain ignorant

 

But you were born

You’re not deaf

You’re not blind

You’re not ignorant

 

It is too late for you

You will never ever

Reach heaven

 

You were so predictable

You were so damn stupid

How could we have ever hoped

For you to think for yourself

To be deaf to stupidity

To be blind to foolishness

To be knowledgeable enough

To find the truth for yourself

In a world of lies

 

It is too late for you

You will never ever

Reach heaven

 

None of us will

How could we

In such a world?

 

The direct way to heaven

Is to never be born

Never be born

Never be born

 

 

Hysteria

 

I’m hysterical again

I’m so sorry

I tried so hard

Not to be out of control

I just can’t help it

You drive me mad

You drive me to insanity

I wish I could see a way

To remain reasonable

Logical

Sane

For that

You would need to be so yourself

But you’re not

 

I’m hysterical most of the time

It is all down to you

What have you done to me?

What is your problem?

Why do you drive all of us

To the brink of hysteria?

Is there a need for it?

Does it serve some obscure purpose?

What have you got to gain

From a world on the brink of war?

 

I’m hysterical again

I’m not sorry anymore

I tried so hard in vain

Not to be out of control

I could never have helped it

You drive me mad

You drive me to insanity

There is no way I could be balanced

To remain reasonable

Logical

Sane

For that

You would need to be so yourself

But you could never be

You could not help it

You have a problem

You cannot help but drive all of us

To the brink of hysteria

There is no need for it

There is no purpose for it

You have nothing to gain

And yet, this world is on the brink of war

 

It’s a sad world

I am hysterical

This is all you can bring in people

So I will no longer apologise

I’m afraid

You have only yourself to blame

I’m afraid

There will be war

 

 

The greatest genocide of all

 

What do you know of genocides?

What about wars?

People dying in slavery?

200 million deaths in the last century alone

You have miscounted

The greatest genocide of all

is the whole of humanity

It happens everyday everywhere

As soon as our soul is as good as dead

Living in a society doing its best to kill everything

 

I have a dead soul

It is quite possible

It was only alive for a few years

And immediately it was snatched away from me

All day long

I share this existence

With dead people

Who know nothing of what life is

And what it could be

They’re working very hard

To achieve the greatest genocide possible

They have succeeded

Simply because we let them succeed

 

I long for a world of freedom

Where one could at least feel elated

Once in a while

Instead, I am struggling

To find ways

To vent more frustrations

Such anger boiling inside of me

You don’t want to be there when it explodes

Cos’ I can only add to the toll

Of the greatest genocide of all

Just as we are all contributors

To the mass killing of humanity

With no wish whatsoever to change anything

This planet is populated by six billion zombies

All dead in their soul

 

The soul of humanity is dead

The greatest genocide of all

 

 

I am awake

 

I am awake

It is so rare that I can say those words

Most of the time

I just do my job

I come home to find my bed

I sleep hours and hours

Just to come back to life again

Just to go back to work and die

Again

 

I am awake

Constant bitching

Favouritism

Unfairness

Injustice

Discrimination

Is all I need

To go right back to sleep

Forever and ever

Until I die for good

For a long time

I thought

The only way I could be awake

Was through my dreams

But then, I am not awake

Am I?

 

I am awake

For such a short time

Whenever they cross the line

Whenever they reach my limits

Whenever I can no longer suffer them

When it needs to come out

When I need to do something insane

When I need to detonate

When I feel I have lost all hope

I awake

I think

I try to put it all back in perspective

I search for ways out

I only find desperation

 

I am awake

But so barely

What do I need to do

To wake up for good

From this nightmare?

Would peace ever come?

Happiness?

Something worth living for?

Give me one reason

To remain awake

Under conditions

Not called from anger and despair

One reason

Quick!

Too late

I’m back to sleep

Forever and ever

 

 

Am I to blame?

 

I will admit as much

I don’t make it easy for myself

I do talk

I do attack

I do explode

 

Am I to Blame?

 

Good question

Well

I could stop talking

I could stop attacking

I could stop exploding

Well

I could also stop living

Stop existing

Be a complete drone

Just like a computer

With a basic language

Awaiting commands

And obey until its components finally fail

 

So

Am I to blame?

 

Oh, what a great life that would be

I would never get into trouble

I would never be told what to do and what not to do

I would be perfection re-incarnated

However

I would no longer be a human being

Not that I ever thought

That I ever was one to begin with

It could be worse though

Much worse

You try very hard to make it impossible

You turned me into

Your scapegoat

This is not acceptable

 

For wishing to feel alive

Am I to blame?

 

You

Have a complex of superiority

You

Are on a power trip

You

Abuse your powers

You

Treat us like children

You

Are patronising

You

Believe you can control our lives

You

Turn us into miserable human beings

You

Turn us into monsters

 

For your blindness

Am I to blame?

 

 

Warning hot surface

 

You’re all surface dear

Only surface dear

 

You are such a nice person

You are so white

You are so pure

You are so perfect

You are so fantastic

You are so beautiful

You are so cool

You are so intelligent

You’re full of shit

Warning hot surface!

 

You’re all surface dear

Only surface dear

 

I sometimes wonder

What you must have gone through

To have become what you are

To come to act the way you do

Constantly stating how great you are

Such insecurity

This great fear of not being accepted

Rejected for whatever reason

I feel so sorry for you

I pity you

But when you declare war on me

I’m sorry

But I have to tell you

You are but a bitch

You’re full of shit

Warning hot surface!

 

You’re all surface dear

Only surface dear

 

I am sorry I have to tell you

Not that anyone truly cares

And you almost convinced me

But

You are not a nice person

You are not pure

You are not perfect

You are not fantastic

You are not beautiful

You are not cool

You are not intelligent

You’re full of shit

Warning hot surface!

 

You’re all surface dear

Only surface dear

 

Such a shame

Because it wouldn’t take much from you

To be what you say you are

You almost convinced me

I liked you

I admired you

I wanted to be your friend

You destroyed it all

Perhaps because you cannot accept who you are

I feel sorry for you

I pity you

You’re disconnected from reality

You’re full of shit

Warning hot surface!

 

You’re all surface dear

Only surface dear

 

 

Institutionalised to death

 

A delinquent?

You?

I have more delinquency in my small finger

Than in all the image you project

You are

An institution all by yourself

 

You never fooled me

With your skinhead

With your tribal earrings

In all the right places

With your sadomasochist side

With your leather black suit

With your innuendos

Dear God!

I knew it!

In the end

You are

An institution all by yourself

 

You think you are the all mighty

That you control everything

Yeah!

You’re a control freak

Your fake image

Serves one purpose only

We open up

We admit it

We incriminate ourselves

I didn’t fall for that

I knew

You are

An institution all by yourself

 

Anyone spending so much time

In front of a mirror

Getting ready to look the way you do

Presents no danger to anyone

Whatever the delinquent image you project

However

You do represent a real danger

You set a trap

You have the authority

You can annihilate someone’s career

You have that power

You abuse it

After so many years

I’m afraid to say

Beyond any hope

You are

Institutionalised to death

 

I hope

Such a frightening thought

Kills you in the end

 

 

Oh so… meaty

 

So!

Are you beefy or chicken flavour?

Sometimes I think I smell a fish

 

I will admit as much

You have impressed me

You are the strongest woman I have ever met

You have the greatest personality I have ever seen

You are also the greatest fag hag anyone ever had

Not my fag hag, unfortunately

The fag hag of others

It is well known that every single woman

Every single lesbian

Hate me to death

God knows what I have done to them

I guess it is because I am ultimately a man

Not camp enough to appear inoffensive

 

So!

Are you beefy or chicken flavour?

Sometimes I think I smell a fish

 

We fought hard

We battled like mad ones

 Argued, argued and argued

Dear me

What did we argue about?

It seems we just fight for the sake of it

Because this is who you are

This is your personality

This is why you have no boyfriend

As you say

No one will have you

Even that I admire

 

So!

Are you beefy or chicken flavour?

Sometimes I think I smell a fish

 

For once

Here is someone who is not self important

Here is someone who is important

Just for existing and being in a room

I must recognise myself in that

How else could I admire it so much?

I’m sure, we’re both struggling

With such externalised personalities

Talking faster than we can think

Talking before we think mostly

Which might explain

Why we are always in trouble

And there is no hope for people like us

 

So!

Are you beefy or chicken flavour?

Sometimes I think I smell a fish

 

However, moreover, but, whatever

You didn’t use to look the way you do

There was a time when you were just what I am now

Nothing

You looked that too

Nothing

You are still girly, aren’t you?

How can someone so strong minded

Be so childlike in so many ways?

I can see the cracks

There are always cracks

Sorry I noticed

Well, no one can be so perfect

 

So!

Are you beefy or chicken flavour?

Sometimes I think I smell a fish

 

I don’t care

I know you are a bitch

I don’t care

I know you control my existence

I don’t care

I will still marry you

I don’t care

For once, I might even get a hard on

 

I think I smell a fish

Oh so… meaty

 

 

You know who I am

 

I bet you would like to know

Who I am

Would you like to know

Who I am?

Do you know

Who I am?

 

I am sorry that no one knows

Who I am

How could you know

Who I am

Do you think you know

Who I am?

 

I have been searching

I have looked around

I have tried to figure out

Who I am

I don’t know

Who I am

 

So, do you really think that you know

Who I am?

Do you feel it is possible for you to find out

Who I am?

Is there any way possible that you could know

Who I am?

When I don’t even know myself

Who I am?

 

If it is so, you’ve got to let me know

Who I am

Before it is too late

Before I shoot myself

 

 

You know who you are

 

Who are you?

Falling from the sky

Falling from nowhere

Nicely placed there into my life

For me to suffer ever more

 

Who are you?

You seem to know everything

You can dissect the world

You dissect me

As if all was known to you

Really, what could you possibly know?

 

I don’t know you

How could you know me?

I don’t know the world

How could you know the world?

I don’t know anything

You know nothing

 

Judging is so easy

Have a quick look at anything

For five long minutes

And here you come

Making the judgement of the century

Never thinking about the consequences

Never looking back at the consequences

Go on and on and on and on and on

For posterity

To understand and be enlightened

 

Who are you?

I don’t know you

You don’t know me

What do you know of this world?

Nothing

 

So

Perhaps

You should

Just

Shut up

And get lost

 

 

The astonishing power of emotions

 

The Astonishing Power of Emotions

Will certainly soon annihilate

Just about

Everything

That remains

Of this world

 

 

Did you forget to put a smiley face on it?

 

Did you forget?

Did you forget to be happy?

To convince yourself

That everything was great?

That everything

Was just so perfect?

 

Did you?

Did you forget?

Did you forget to put a smiley face on it?

 

Shame on you!

Oh what a disgrace

I am so disappointed

How could you

 

How could you?

How could you forget?

How could you forget!

To put a smiley face on it?

 

We are living in a perfect world

A world that the first moron

Can create in its image

 

We are here in this so perfect world

Creating it as we go along

All of us to the last retard

 

Here we are

This is now the world

We present it to you

In such a manner

That none of you will ever understand

What this world is truly about

But hey

Here’s a bunch of rules

You better follow them

Or else

Dear me

All hell will break lose

 

Did you forget?

Did you forget to be happy?

To convince yourself

That everything was great?

That everything

Was just so perfect?

 

Did you?

Did you forget?

Did you forget to put a smiley face on it?

 

How could you

 

 

How did we get to be so far gone?

 

How did I get to be so far gone?

 

I cannot tell you where I am

I cannot convince myself where I am

I believe I exist

In so many different places at once

Must be in this world of dreams

Must be in this world of memories

That I cannot pinpoint

When I wake up

What this life is all about

Where I am

What I am supposed to do

 

How did I get to be so far gone?

 

I am halfway here

I am halfway there

I wake up today here

I wake up tomorrow there

I don’t know where I am

I am everywhere

In all those places at once

I feel so wonderful here

I feel so awful there

I feel so great there

I feel so bad here

I don’t know where I am

I do not want to know where I am

 

How did I get to be so far gone?

 

I guess I have lived

More than most

All those experiences

That I was so eager to acquire

Ready to sacrifice everything

In the name of freedom

In the name of adventure

I have gone there

I have done that

I am now here

God knows what I am doing now

I cannot think anymore

I do not want to think anymore

Of what was

And what is

And what might be

 

How did I get to be so far gone?

 

I travelled far

So many places I called home

All were my home

As I never had one

Everywhere I have been!

Everyone I have met!

Now

Can I choose, can I decide

Where I want to be?

With whom I want to be?

Or is it too late?

Or am I actually there

Where I want to be

With whom I want to be

As I feel it to be

As I feel I am

So strongly

I just don’t know

 

How did I get to be so far gone?

 

 

You’re the one thing I can count on

 

I should have known

There is but one thing only

One thing only

That I can truly count on

That thing

Is you

 

Sorry!

Sorry

I should have never abandoned you

I should never have treated you this way

I should never have replaced you

So unkindly

With such words

Oh…

 

Can you ever forgive me?

Can you just take me back?

As if I had never left you

For so many years

And for so far away

I don’t know what I was thinking

I must have been lost

On some weird planet

In the pursuit of such dreams

We all know that none of them

Could ever have come true

Whimsical life

Filled with infatuations

God!

Did the grass looked greener over there

In the middle of the desert

Couldn’t have been more blind

The perfect excuse

To explain everything

Grass grows in the desert

It looks so imposing

So life defining

Everything

 

I was right to think whatever I thought

I was right to leave you

For a while I got all I wanted

All I wished for

All that I worked so hard to get

Such a construction

Such a creation

I had it all

Whilst you were

Somewhere else lost

None existing

I was so happy

Enjoying such freedom

Never again will I ever experience this

 

Why I am getting back to you exactly?

Am I so bored with whatever else exists on this planet?

Are you fulfilling this hole as I expect you should?

 Is it true then

That I can always count on you?

No matter what

No matter how I just abandon you there to rot

Whilst I go around doing the unthinkable?

Doing to others what I never even did to you?

And do you even care?

No!

I knew that

I was never completely that stupid

And yet

I feel guilt

Should never have abandoned you

There is only one thing I can truly depend on

That thing, it is you

You have never let me down

You will never let me down

Probably because you will never know I even exist

 

I will never ever again

Abandon you like this

Never let me down

Never disappointed me

Never stopped doing what it is that you do best

Never, never, never!

You are the only thing I can count on

What a love story!

 

Now

So we can make sense out of all of this

Has anyone got a gun?

 

 

I’ll buy the damn place!

 

I feel so much regrets already

So much remorse

That I was there

All within my grasp

All for the wrong reasons

And yet

I have fallen in love so deeply

How I would love to go back

To live there

To make it all my own

As if it was all mine

As if I had created it all with my own two hands

 

How lovely!

Oh so romantic

Lost in the middle of nowhere

Some sort of a desert

Some sort of a canyon

Some sort of a lost place

Where there was life

Where there was hope

Where there was

Everything someone could dream of

 

Must have been nothing

Must have been a lost cause

Must have been a lost after thought

 

In such a wasteful place

In the middle of nowhere

In the middle of the desert

In the middle of a canyon

 

Must have been nothing

Must have been a lost cause

Must have been a lost after thought

 

And yet

It is everything to me

Nowhere else could ever mean

Anything to me

 

I will go back one day

I will see it again one day

I will live it again one day

I will live there one day

 

I’ll buy the damn place!

 

 

It is an emergency!

 

I’m not sure how long I can last

I am desperate

I need it right now

How so lovely

So pure and so young

I can’t breathe anymore

I’m in awe

Yes

Bring it back

Bring it now

It is an emergency!

 

Such innocence

Which has not seen anything yet

Not experienced anything yet

All hope and waiting

To start a life

That most likely

Will never start

Unless

Unless one intervenes

Makes it a fulfilling one

Without asking for anything in return

Just as one should expect from life

 

I can no longer stand this

I am desperate

It is such a need for me

To see this thing start living

Appreciate life as it can be appreciated

See life

The only way it can be seen

The world standing there in front of us

So many places to go

So many people to meet

So much experience to acquire

That would be lost

Undeniably

If such a wonder

Were to die where it started

Never to see life

Never to see the world

 

Oh…

Such a waste

Happens all the time

It is not acceptable

People don’t know better

People should know better

 

It is an emergency

Bring it down

We will talk some sense into it

We will show it the way

We will launch it

To the ultimate experience

The only way someone should live

Before it is too late

 

Someone is in deep need

To be launched into space

It should be given a chance

It should be launched into the universe

 

Someone needs to do something

Someone needs to start living

Someone needs to start creating

Desperately crying for help

 

Is it you that I am talking about?

It is an emergency!

 

 

I’m just like my dad

 

I am just like my dad

We look the same

We used to be the best looking guy around

The one everyone was after

In our own way

 

I am just like my dad

The same face

The same smile

The same body

The same personality

The whole nine yards

From beginning to end

 

I am just like my dad

I just don’t know how he survived it

How he did it

A lifetime working for the government

In such a restraint environment

For over 40 years

I cannot explain it

I would have died before retirement

No way could I have survived it

 

I am just like my dad

I’m just a bit more extreme

I’m just a bit more out there

I am just a bit more extrovert

Well

I just needed to live!

I just needed to explore!

I just needed to get out of here!

I just needed to get off my mind!

I just needed to… burst out!

All over life!

All over the universe!

Leave an indelible mark on this planet!

Take control!

And make it happen!

 

So

I guess

I am nothing like my dad

I cannot understand him

What is he about?

Why does he exist at all?

I don’t know, do you?

He will die forgotten

Without ever having created anything

From my point of view

He wasted his whole life

I am not proud of my dad

Because I saw so much potential within him

More so than I could ever have dreamt there was within me

And it has all gone to waste

Because parents do not listen

To their children who know better

 

Fuck my dad then!

He will never amount to anything!

He will never be anyone

He will never do anything significant

He might as well just die!

Whilst I reach for the highest pyramid

Whilst I continue my meaningless

Ascension to the top of this world

Whilst I drive full on towards my ultimate downfall

Just so he can one day

Tell me that

He was right all along

 

I am not just like my dad

I will never be able

To tell my son one day

That I was right all along

Because I will never have a son

And to be honest

I don’t give a fuck about that shite

 

I am just like my dad

We’re one and the same

And hopefully one day

I will have the last word

 

And that last word will be

Despite everything

Despite this chasm separating us

I love you dad

 

 

Who’s that fucker talking in the background?

 

How stupid do you think I am?

Do you think I am that blind

To what is truly going on?

That I cannot hear the words

Talking through you in the background?

Are you not talking the words of destiny?

The true words of God?

The only God you ever believed in?

That I never could ever believe in myself?

 

So

Who’s that fucker in the background

Dictating to you what needs to be said

What this society has deemed necessary

To be said

To annihilate me

To destroy me completely

So I can no longer enjoy this life

Or anything related to it?

Do I deserve to be reduced

To such a small human being

That only death can be seen as my way out?

Do you not understand the impact of what you say?

That it throws us in deep depression

Wishing that we could commit suicide?

 

So

Who’s the fucker talking in the background?

Who’s to blame for such insensitivity?

Who needs to be shot so we can survive?

 

Oh so young and so naïve you have been

To listen to them

To follow by example

To think this was the way to go

 

One day

You will learn

The full impact

This teaching can have

I hope it won’t be too late by then

For you

Who is so young and so blind

To anything this life has to offer

 

I should have no pity for you

But oh, how I do pity you

That they turned you into such a monster

At such an early age

Before you were able to experience anything

And see how it was out there

Outside your comfort zone

Which you never got out of

 

I suppose I should laugh at it

I do see the world for what it is

I have seen what it was like out there

I know there is no need to turn this life

Into something no one in their right mind would choose

You are young

You are innocent

You are stupid

You have no idea

Because you have not lived

And one wonders if you will ever live

Then you would understand

What life is all about

What the human race needs to survive

Somehow I think you would miss it all completely

That you could never understand

 

So

Who’s the fucker talking in the background?

He is the real target here

And believe me

I will hit him hard somehow one day

I will make him understand

Even though

For you

It is already too late

 

I feel such incredible sadness inside of me for you

But I guess that if you were so easily impressionable

So easily converted to that kind of philosophy

You were weak indeed

And then

You do deserve the life that is awaiting you ahead

You will go through hell

You will live in misery

And somehow you will feel righteous

What an illusion

 

And one day you will fall from quite high up

When they will finally use

Against you

What you have been taught

To use against us

They so quickly turn against anyone

You will not know what hit you

Then what will you have left?

All that you believed in

Will have been used to destroy you

Then you will understand

But by then

It will be too late

 

You have only yourself to blame

You could not see beyond the tip of your nose

You do deserve what is awaiting you

I will not pity you

For such hell you made us suffer

Without realising

When you should have understood

 

You can just die, bitch!

But before you do

What is the source?

What is this source feeding you?

And does he actually really talk?

Or is it just make-belief?

Who is your God?

So we can have his head

Just like and how he had yours

 

Who’s that fucker talking in the background?

 

 

Nothing can reach me now

 

Nothing can reach me now

Nothing can stop me now

 

I am that powerful

So filled with confidence

Of all that I have experienced

No mind games ever could reach me

 

Pitiful mind games you play

So desperate you are

To prove yourself

To get somewhere

I’m afraid

Will all be lost on me

 

I do not play the game

I see through you

I see through the game

I have been playing it for decades

Nothing can reach me now

 

See!

Over there!

Right here!

Such life waiting to be lived!

Such life waiting to be fulfilled!

What are you waiting for?

Don’t you see this world?

Where it leads?

Such amazing places

Such amazing people

Who could in an instant

Make it all happen for you

And it is for you to decide

If you want it or not

 

What do you hope to accomplish here?

Do you think this is new to me?

Do you think I am such a virgin as you are

When I have slept with the whole planet?

And when you do not even know

What masturbation is?

Whilst you pretend you do

 

Nothing can reach me now

Unless I decide that it should have any kind of impact upon me

Then

You will become my target

To ridicule this life

This existence

To make you so small

You will die of shame

Be sure

It does not affect me

But it will affect you

 

I will not feel guilt anymore

For speaking the truth

For telling it the way it is

Of fears you might read this one day

If you do

So be it

Nothing can reach me now

 

I’m sure however that everything will reach you

You will then try to make me pay

But I assure you

You cannot win

Nothing can reach me now

 

I am out of this world

I have always been

Thought for a while I was but an observer

I understand now

I am the creator

So who are you then?

My creation

My insignificant creation

And just as I created you

I will make you disappear so fast

You would not even know you ever existed

 

I have such a life to live!

I have such horizons to explore!

So many places to go

So many people to meet

So much to learn

So much to assimilate

I will live this life one way or another

 

Who you think you are

To feel you could stop me

On such a destiny

Shows how ignorant you are

About the mechanisms of this existence

 

I will live the way I see fit

I will see the world the way I intend to

I will travel as far as one can go

I will see the world for what it is

 

Nothing can reach me now

Nothing can stop me now

 

 

It is never time to think of retirement

 

I listen to myself

For the first time

I do no talk of someone waiting to live

I talk as someone who lived

I also talk as someone who does not believe

He will ever live again

I’m sorry, but this is not acceptable

If I think

If you think

That I have lived

That I have a lot of experience

You have seen nothing yet

 

Shit

This is no small matter

I just realised that I was actually young

That I might have lived a lot

For someone so young

But that I was not dead yet

And that there was much more to explore

So much more to experience

To live for

 

I may still have to sacrifice just about everything

To go live the adventure

This life has to offer

I cannot get comfy in one place

With one person

Incapable of the most basic thing about life

Absolute freedom

I will need once again to sacrifice

Everything and everyone

In order to lead the existence

I had in mind

For myself

Cannot feel sorry

Cannot feel bad

Just have to make the decision

Just have to go for it

 

I am not dead!

I am far from retiring!

I have not seen enough!

I have not experienced enough

What this life had to offer!

 

Oh dear

I’m gone now

Ready to go

Ready to leave

Once again

For the other side of the planet

Such sacrifices

Such life changing events

I have no choice in the matter

I have to go

I will go

 

Don’t talk to me about retirement

For people like me

Retirement is not an option

I gather that I will be halfway across the galaxy

By the time I have my heart attack

And by then

How could it ever stop me?

Others have heart attacks

I won’t have any heart attack

It is never time

To think of retirement

As after all now

We will never die

 

 

Where do we go from here?

 

So

Where do we go from here?

 

Well

Where am I to start with?

I don’t know

Do you know where you are?

Are you sure?

So

Where do you go from here?

 

Where do you go

You don’t know

Because you don’t even know

Where here is

I will tell you

As I always do

Where you are

Where you are going

Do you think you are somewhere?

You are nowhere

And though you knew where you were heading

You have no clue where you will end up

 

So

Where do we go from here?

 

Does it depend on me?

Are you so lost

That you can no longer guide yourself

To where you need to go?

 

Don’t you know

Deep inside

Where you should be?

Where you need to go?

Are you incapable of making the decision

To finally move on?

Do I have to make that decision for you?

 

I know

I understand

How difficult it is

How impossible

Such decisions can be made

And yet

You have to make it

You have to move on

You have to live

You have to exist

You have to make that decision

It is inevitable

You have no choice

This is it

This is the time

You have to get out of there

You have to move on

 

Where do you go from here?

Everywhere!

You will start living

You have to get out of here

You have no choice

Make the decision!

This is where we go from here

 

Liberation!

Freedom!

The start of a new life!

Finally you will live!

Finally you will experience what life is all about!

Get out!

Get out now!

You have suffered long enough!

There is no need to suffer anymore

 

From here

We’re going everywhere!

There are no frontiers anywhere in this world!

There is always a way

There are always solutions

You will survive

You will explode upon this world

You will become what you were meant to be

So strong and so dedicated

You will make such a difference

Simply because

You suffered so much

No life should ever depend on the one of another

No way!

 

Where do we go from here?

I will tell you

Everywhere at once!

And you will be heard

Everywhere at once!

Because this is the beginning of a new life

And everything will be alright

Because this is what life is all about

There are always solutions around the corner

To the deepest problems ever

 

Make the decision!

Get out!

Get out!

Get out!

 

So

Where do we go from here?

Everywhere at once!

Life is awaiting us

So much so

You could never imagine

A whole world is awaiting you

 

So

Where do you go from here?

Everywhere at once!

 

 

You will succeed!

 

What a discovery

I am no longer only thinking of myself

I think of others first

I don’t know how this came about

If I had to guess

It is because

I am no longer expecting anything

From this life

 

Do I feel like I am already dead?

That I have nothing left to experience

Nothing to live for?

Am I so old already?

That I feel I have nothing left to offer anyone?

Well, if I felt so old already, at 35

What does this tell you

About anyone over 35?

Don’t they feel death upon them?

Just like I do?

I have only a few years left

To accomplish myself

To make something out of my life

I am about to die!

God help me!

 

I feel that perhaps

I had so much more to tell the world

So much more that they would not care about

And yet

I have to tell them

I have to tell them the truth about this world

I will die any day now!

I am 35!

This is the end of my life!

I finally understood that I was mortal!

God help me!

 

And yet

I am no longer selfish

I do not think of myself anymore

I have lived enough

I have experienced enough

I have written enough

I can die happy now

With the sense that I have accomplished

Everything I have set myself to accomplish

Now I can concentrate on the ones

Who are like me

Who never had the chance to

Live the life they were meant to be living

 

I am no longer selfish

And yet

I won’t be able to help any of them

So I have to tell them

That everything was against me

And yet

I broke out from everything

And still led the life I thought I was meant to lead

And if I have done so

You can do the same

Because I am not special

I am insignificant

And yet I told them all to fuck off

I told them I would lead the life I was meant to

And I did

And so can you

 

Hell, if you need help, I will help you

To break out

To get out

To start this life you were meant to live

I am no longer selfish

I think of you first

 

You will succeed!

No matter what!

 

 

Such a life of freedom

 

Are we not all dreaming to be free?

Are we not all dreaming of absolute freedom?

And then we look around

We are chained to death

And yet

Through it all

Can’t you feel such freedom?

Are you not free?

To do whatever you want?

You could quit right now

Whatever it is that you are doing

To tell them all to get lost

Enjoy life

Such a life of freedom

 

Here are such horizons awaiting you

We will get there

You will get there

There is nothing that can stop you

Such a life of freedom

Emancipation

Anticipation

Actualisation

Creating one’s existence

Such a life of freedom

That such artists

Could never be recognised

Because they are the very spark of life

The very reason everyone exists

Without ever

Being able

To make any decision

To feel

To inspire

To create

What life is all about

Such a life of freedom

 

I one day

Woke up

I one day

Threw it all out

I one day

Started to live

I one day

Left everything behind

I one day

Made the necessary sacrifices

I one day

Decided to live

I one day

Took a plane for god knows where

I one day

Decided I would start to live

I one day

Lived for real

Such a life of freedom

 

It wasn’t easy

It was mad

In retrospect

I am afraid of what I have done

That is why you should not think

You should act

Right now

Such a life of freedom

Is awaiting you

It is ready to be lived

To be experienced

By you

Forget everything

Do not listen to anyone but yourself

Make that crazy decision

Start to live!

 

Such a life of freedom

 

 

It is all but in the mind

 

I was going to say

I was going to say…

But there is no need to say it

 

It is all but in the mind

It certainly starts there

But from there

You go on and create whatever you feel like

 

It is all but in the mind

I assure you

Tough it starts there

From there you go everywhere else

You create everything else

There is no limit

And how could there be?

Any limits?

 

Your mind is a powerful tool

You could still be stuck where you were born

Unable to free yourself

And yet

You could live so far away from here

That is how powerful the mind is

 

Was I born here?

I don’t remember

What am I still doing here?

I don’t know

I belong somewhere else

I was somewhere else

I invented that somewhere else

Why am I still here?

I cannot explain it

Nevertheless

I’m far gone

I’m far away from here

I’m already gone

A long time ago

 

I built this world!

I made it what it is!

I created those bitches and those bastards!

None of them can affect me

Because I am the only one

I am the only person

That exists

In this world

 

I do live in my own bubble universe

You do live in your own bubble universe

I realised a long time ago

That only I existed in this universe

That I was making it all up as I went along

Everything and everyone that exist

I invented them

I created them

So I could learn something

Out of this world

Just like you do

 

Might be all in the mind

It is still what life is all about

What my life is all about

I created it this way

I wanted it this way

Can’t explain why

Because it makes no sense

And yet

I have

And now I have to live with it

 

This world

This whole world

It is all but in my mind

I created it!

I will survive it!

 

This world

This whole world

It is all but in your mind

You created it!

You will survive it!

 

 

Ball of anger

 

We’re all but just

A great ball of anger

Leaving chaos behind us

Wherever we go

 

Oh, I have tried so hard!

To be nice

To be understanding

To be compassionate

But listening to your jokes

Right after the storm

As if nothing happened

Oh dear

There just comes a point

When it all needs to explode

All in your fake happy face

 

We’re all but just

A great ball of anger

Leaving chaos behind us

Wherever we go

 

Oh Brother!

See this world we’ve made

So much potential

Such a lovely place it could be

We would not need to pretend

For such a perfection

It is all here within our reach

But hearing your loud laugh

Right after you destroyed us

As if nothing happened

Oh dear

There just comes a time

When I need to explode

All over your pretend existence

 

We’re all but just

A great ball of anger

Leaving chaos behind us

Wherever we go

 

Oh Sister!

Will you open your eyes

See this world for what it is?

See the world for what it could be?

So much we could offer each other

So friendly we could all be

So perfect this universe is

But hearing you whinge again

Freak out once again

About such insignificance

Oh dear

I get so angry

I push the panic button

I could destroy this world

Leaving you to wonder

What brought me to the brink of insanity

 

We’re all but just

A great ball of anger

Leaving chaos behind us

Wherever we go

 

Oh, I have tried so hard!

But when everyone is just

But a great ball of anger around me

Leaving nothing but destruction in their wake

I have no choice

I have to become the greatest

Ball of anger of all

 

Oh, I have tried so hard!

But

I will be

For you

The greatest ball of anger

The world has ever seen

 

 

I’m just about ready to kill someone

 

I am now deaf to

Everything you say

All the background noise

All the distortions

I am deaf

To your existence

 

I am now blind to

Who you are

What you are

What you are all about

I am blind

To your existence

 

I am now sedated to

Life around me

This reality

The universe

I am sedated

To your existence

 

Such unfairness!

Such injustice!

Such favouritism!

Such discrimination!

Such lies!

You should not even exist

 

I am so distressed

My cry will be heard in the next millennium

I am so angry

I could annihilate anyone crossing my path

I am so out of my mind

I’m just about ready to kill someone

 

 

Not my most inspired moment

 

Whilst I am trying so desperately

To be nice

To show compassion

To be perfect

To be happy

Peaceful

Elated!

This is not

My most inspired moment

 

Whilst I am trying so hard

To become a new man

To create another reality

To feel hopeful for the future

For humanity

For you!

This is not

My most inspired moment

 

No matter how hard you try

No matter how hopeful you are

It is just not possible

To try anything

To do anything

To become anything

I always ruin it all

In less than a minute

This is not

My most inspired moment

 

 

Everywhere I go I cause a panic

 

I am so tired

To cause so many heart attacks

Everywhere I go

Just by being me

You would have thought by now

There was nothing new under the sun

There would be no need

To jump to a panic state

As soon as I open my mouth

And say something

As soon as I raise my hands

And do something

You feel threaten

You feel the need to shut me down

Frankly!

Get a life!

Get out a bit more

Experience a bit more

See people for what they are

See the world for what it is

There is no need for alarm

That’s just life

Calm down

Just accept it

This is how we are

This is how it is

We cannot change our nature

Just like you can’t change yours

Better open your eyes

Move away from your comfort zone

See people for what they are

See the world for what it is

Then and only then

You will see

That there’s no need

To panic

I’m not gonna kill ya

Though I thought about it many times

You better not voice that you wish to kill me

Because then

There will be a real panic

And no one will be able

To control me

 

 

I have that right!

 

I think

I just can’t pretend anymore

My heart is just not in it

I can no longer lie

Like I used to

I can no longer remain silent

Like I used to

 I can no longer keep my mouth shut!

Like I used to

 

From your point of view

It may seem

Like I never shut up

I’m telling you

I’m just beginning

And it will hurt!

Now I am awake!

 

I will no longer

Listen to you

I will no longer

Do what you ask

No more will I work so hard

For no recognition

No more will I work so hard

For no reward

My heart is just

Not in it anymore

 

I had enough

Of whatever you do

I had enough

Of all that you represent

I had enough

Of you

I’m done!

My heart is no longer in it

 

Go away!

Just disappear from my life!

I never want to see the like of you ever again!

I will tell you what I think

Every time

And suffer the consequences

And those consequences

Will mean my liberty

 

I think

My heart is still in it

It’s just not

In anything that concerns you

I have that right

To refuse

To do anything you ask of me

I have that right

To refuse

To see you

I have the right

To walk right through you

I have the right

To walk to my freedom

So fuck off!

 

 

Are there any drugs left in this house?

 

I’m getting desperate

I’m scratching the walls

I’m singing

I’m shouting

At the top of my lungs

The delirium of the millennium

I’m gonna do something

I’m gonna do

Something insane!

And just die

Of an overdose

Right after…

What a way to live!

 

Are there any drugs left in this house?

I’m gonna get trashed!

So off my head!

I do not expect to survive

 

I’ve reached the point

Where I could not care

About anything or anyone

Left with one desire only

The one to live

Just that

How simple that desire is

I cannot understand

How difficult

Complicated

It can be

To understand!

What a way to live!

 

Are there any drugs left in this house?

I’m gonna get trashed!

So off my head!

I do not expect to survive

 

I cannot see any hope

Over the horizon

I do not see a way out

Happiness

Don’t know

Must belong to the disciples

Of Jesus-Christ

Or Allah

One or the other

I will feel content

Tonight

That those disciples

Will lead a happy life

And die happy

What a way to live!

 

Are there any drugs left in this house?

I’m gonna get trashed!

So off my head!

I do not expect to survive

 

I can only blame you

I will have no regrets

Because this is not a way to live

In fact

I reviewed all the possible ways to live

I rejected them all

I suppose you just didn’t have the imagination

The creativity

That was required

In order to make of this life

Something liveable

So why should I care?

About anything or anyone?

Please tell me!

What a way to live!

 

Are there any drugs left in this house?

I’m gonna get trashed!

So off my head!

I do not want to survive!

 

And why should I?

 

 

It’s the end of the world

 

I am too sensitive a soul

Everything that happens

Has such an impact upon my life

The smallest detail

The smallest event

I feel it to the core

It means everything

It’s the end of a world

 

I am too sensitive a soul

For this world

I feel too much

I care too much

It hits me in the heart

So deeply

Whether I want it or not

It kills me

There is nothing I can do about it

 

I am too sensitive a soul

I wish I could be desensitised

I wish I would not care!

That I could free myself

From the problems of humanity!

Stop!

Stop creating chaos for no reason!

Free me!

Because for me

It means everything

It’s the end of a world

 

I am too sensitive a soul

I need to be cured

I will find a cure

I will rid myself of all of you

I will feel nothing

Sedated as I will be

I will feel nothing

As I will disconnect myself

Because for me

It means everything

There is nothing I can do about it

 

This is how deeply I feel

It’s the end of the world

 

 

What else could I do to destroy you?

 

You’re a fucking hard bitch

It is hard to scandalise you

And yet I am trying very hard

To send you overboard

So you will just lose it completely

And perhaps

Never return

 

I have broken hardest bitches than you

You’re but a pale comparison

You feel strong and in control

You have seen nothing yet

I’ll break ya, you will go mad

And perhaps

Never return

 

I care nothing for you

You are fat

You are weak

You’re an idiot

I’ll send you packing, you will be defeated

And perhaps

Never return

 

I have decades of experience

At breaking bitches

Often they only realise it after I’m gone

In your case, I’ll be there

To enjoy while you suffer and break down

And perhaps

Never return

 

 You have met your master

You are but the smallest Master Bitch I have ever met

You will be easy to demolish, to deflate

Just watch me go, I will enjoy it

You will leave with the hardest headache

And perhaps

Never return

 

This is my vendetta

Against all the Master Bitches

Of this world

I will destroy you all

You will cry your heart out

And definitely

Never return!

 

You have met your Master!

I’ll show you just how weak you are

I will obliterate you!

Again and again!

Fucking master bitches!

You will

Never return!

 

 

Why?

 

Why would I want to be happy?

When all my life

I have been anything but happy?

By now

I revel in unhappiness

It has given me

A reason to exist

I am the King

Of the unhappy people

I roll myself in it

I just love it

I cannot change now

It is impossible

Why?

 

Why would I want to be happy?

When I have built my nest

In such unhappiness

When everything that I am

Is unhappiness?

When finally

I can only be happy

In my unhappiness?

Now you understand

I can no longer change my nature

Why?

 

Why would I want to be happy?

There is no point now

There is no motivation anymore

I have found a way

To be happy

In my unhappiness

Trying to change my nature

Only hurts

I can no longer change

I do not want to change

And this is so sad

Why?

 

The best things happen to me

The greatest events one could hope for

It is everything anyone dreams of

I finally have full control over my existence

I finally have full freedom

I do not have to suffer anyone

I do not have to suffer anything

I do not suffer anymore

I am free to roam the world

To do whatever I want

Whenever I want

I am free!

And yet

I am unhappy

Because I cannot change my nature

Why?

 

No matter what now

No matter how happy this life can be

No matter how rich I become

No matter how free I feel

It is too late for me

I will never find happiness

Why?

 

I hope you still can

Find happiness

And when it happens

I hope you still can

Feel happiness

I can no longer

Feel anything

And this is sad

Why?

 

Wait!

I can feel something!

I can feel such detachment

From anything that exists

I can laugh at everything

No longer can I take anything seriously

Nothing actually really exists

I am out of this world

I am out of my mind

I cannot feel anything

I cannot be happy

But there is a very good reason for that

None of this truly existed anyway in the first place

So why would I want to be happy now?

There is absolutely no reason

For me to be happy

And I do know why

I am alone in this world I created

After such a fallacy

Might as well drink myself to death

Without any more question why

 

No wonder we were never made aware

As soon as you become aware

You realise how inexistent

This universe is

How immaterial

You are

Why!

 

Why indeed

 

 

I’m just about ready to kill myself

 

That’s it

I’ve lost it

I am crying

Everything there is to cry

Once again

Long past the point of no return

There’s no coming back

How could I once again

Save myself

From this?

How?

And do I even want to?

I am just about ready to kill myself

 

Oh!

I wanted so much from life!

There was so much I wanted to accomplish!

Many places to go

Many people to meet

Many conversations to have

Filled with desire

Filled with expectations

A whole world to see

A whole world to learn from

It could have been

The journey of a lifetime

It could have been

The realisation of a life dream

And, but

I am just about ready to kill myself

 

I don’t know what went wrong

I’m not sure who to blame

What to blame

I just can see

How this existence

Has been reduced to nothing

No hope whatsoever

When it could have been

Everything!

 

I am just about ready

To give it all up

And to start

Living!

 

 

I will motivate a whole planet!

 

I will motivate a whole planet!

To break free!

To find absolute freedom!

Even if I have to die trying

 

Do I need to say more?

Is this not your deepest desire?

Perhaps wishing for happiness along the way

Some peace

Some great feeling of well being

To top it all up?

 

The freedom

To do whatever you want

Whenever you want

Such a high price to pay

To even exist

Should not even exist

You are free!

From the day you were born

You are free!

From this moment

You are free!

Right now!

 

I will motivate a whole planet!

To break free!

To find absolute freedom!

Even if I have to die trying

 

Such a desire to live!

Such a wish to exist!

Bring it all up!

I am ready!

You are ready!

We are ready!

To welcome it

To welcome anything

To break this routine

To break this loop

No longer will it be the same!

We will finally experience

All that this life has to offer!

 

I will motivate a whole planet!

To break free!

To find absolute freedom!

Even if I have to die trying

 

Get outside right now

Look at the sky

Look at the stars

Look far over the horizon

It is all there awaiting you

Just wish for it

Express what you want

Ask for it!

Right now!

Nothing matters anymore!

Nothing exists anymore!

Just you

Just the universe

Just your creation

What do you want of this life?

What do you want of this universe?

It is all yours

It is all your own creation

Go for it!

 

I will motivate a whole planet!

To break free!

To find absolute freedom!

Even if I have to die trying

 

I am mad

Completely mad

You are sane

Completely sane

I live all over the universe

I created the whole universe

So

You better get mad soon

You better start creating your own universe

You better start

Living all over the universe!

 

That is it

I have said it all

There is nothing else for me to say

I have told you

You understood

You know what you have to do

Get out there

Create the experience you truly wish for

Create the world you always dreamt of

Just wish it

Believe it

See it happening

That’s it

That’s all

 

I will motivate a whole planet!

To break free!

To find absolute freedom!

Even if I have to die trying

 

I am free!

I am happy!

I am peaceful!

I am out of reach!

This reality, I created it

This experience, I wished for it

But now

I am going to wish for so much more

I am going to start living for real

I am going to create the world I want to live in

And you will do just the same

And this will revolutionise everything!

 

I will motivate a whole planet!

To break free!

To find absolute freedom!

And I will succeed

 

We will succeed!

 

 

I feel great! How do you feel?

 

I feel all awe inspired

I am no longer touching the ground

I am no longer within this reality

I feel great!

How do you feel?

 

I am so disconnected

I do not believe anything could reach me

The little problems of humanity?

Pfff!

How do you feel?

 

No, I am not on drugs

No, I am not under the influence of alcohol

No, I just see everything so differently

I feel great!

How do you feel?

 

I feel so free right now

Despite everything going on

I am so unconcerned with the problems of the world

I can’t even describe how I feel

How do you feel?

 

I feel disconnected enough

I feel I created this world

I certainly re-created it in my mind

And somehow it becomes reality

How do you feel?

 

I am far gone

And yet I feel I am right

I believe what I am telling myself

How can I be wrong when I feel so great!

How do you feel?

 

This world becomes what I think

What I want comes to pass

I am in total control of destiny

Somehow, this is weird, this is depressing

How do you feel?

 

I feel great!

Sometimes

I feel like committing suicide

How can you explain this?

How do you feel?

 

I cannot explain this universe

I cannot identify the laws of nature

I am at a total loss

I feel miserable and great all at the same time

How do you feel?

 

Do you understand anything about this world?

Do you understand anything?

About the mechanics of existence?

I feel awful, because I still understand nothing

How do you feel?

 

If you feel like you understand this universe

If you feel like you understand what life is all about

If you feel like you understand everything

That you have somehow a better understanding than most

How do you feel?

 

Being a visionary

I feel great

I feel lost

I feel nothing

How do you feel?

 

 

You have no idea the life I am leading

 

You have no idea, do you?

Of the life I am leading

Behind your back

You think I go back to you

Every day

Having lived nothing

Having experienced nothing

As if I was dead

As soon as I am outside of your sight

You have no idea

 

I go all around the world

At least three times

Before you see me again

I have experienced all

That this world has to offer

Seen everything there is to see

Imagined everything that can be

Before you can control me once again

For this so limited amount of time

And yet

You think this is what my existence

Is limited to

You have no idea

 

To tell you

How insignificant you are

Whilst you think

That my whole life is resumed to you

And the little power you have over me

That I fight every singe day

You are well aware of that

And though I live so much

I feel you live so little

Because I cannot see

How anymore your life could be

But these little struggles

This little power you have over me

That you enjoy so much

It takes over your whole life

And yet

 

You have no idea

The life I am leading

Outside of your little burst out bubble

So far away I am

So far away do I exist

So much I accomplish

Outside of it all

Outside of your power trip

Outside all that this world is to you

That I feel

I live

And you forgot to live

 

You have no idea

The life I am leading

 

I do know though the life you are leading

It is a very miserable one indeed

 

You have no idea

 

 

I have the right to exist!

 

It means nothing to you

It means everything to me

 

Yes!

It does mean everything to me!

Why can’t you understand?

Why can’t you leave me alone?

I made it clear

I told you in no uncertain terms

Let it be!

Let me be!

I have the right to live!

I have the right to exist!

 

It means nothing to you

It means everything to me

 

What powers you

To constantly bug me?

To impose yourself in such a fashion into my life?

When all I tried to do

Is to shut you off completely?

Will I never succeed?

To free myself of this world?

Of everything you are and represent?

 

It means nothing to you!

It means everything to me!

 

What do I have to do?

To clean up this world of the likes of you?

To eradicate this annoyance

That is you?

You feel only you exist within this world

Well

I have some news for you

It is quite the opposite

Only me exist in this world

In this world of mine

I cannot even begin to understand

Why I would let you in

Why I would give you any time

Why I would let myself be so disturbed

By whatever you decide to do

 

It means nothing to you

It means everything to me

 

I will stop you right there in your track

I will make you understand

Of how unnecessary all that you do
Or try to achieve

Is superfluous

Not needed

Not required

Not wanted

You will see how you have become

Just but a hindrance

A nuisance

Which is quickly becoming

Alarmingly

Much more than that

And I cannot accept it

 

It means nothing to you

It means everything to me

 

If you cannot understand how

I can wish such little freedom I am asking for

If you cannot get the message

That I desperately need that little freedom I am allowed

I will have to make you understand somehow

I will have to lead a revolution if necessary

Be it a civil war

But you will understand

You will get the message

You will leave me alone

 

It means nothing to you

It means everything to me

 

The sooner you get that

The better we will be

 

Let it be!

Let me be!

I have the right to live!

I have the right to exist!

 

 

You just don’t care, you have to go

 

Well

I guess

You just don’t care

So

Why should I care?

Well

I don’t

 

Whatever you say

Whatever you do

I don’t care

Be my guest

Go about the world

Talk and talk and talk

About the world

It seems

You were born for it

To talk and talk and talk

About the world

You could convince anyone

That whatever we are doing

Is simply

The way to go

Is simply

Just right

 

I guess you just don’t care

So

Why should we care?

Well

We don’t

 

Whatever you say

Whatever you do

We don’t care

We are all way too busy

With our own little

Insignificant existence

To pay attention to anything you do

You take it as validation

I tell you

I take it as suicidal

You don’t hear a squeak

No one is telling you

That you are about to fall flat on your face

And yet

You are about to fall flat on your face

 

I guess you just don’t care

So why

Should we care?

Well

We do

 

I would not even trust myself with such decisions

And yet you do trust yourself with such decisions

I would not trust anyone with such decisions

And yet we do trust someone, anyone, with these decisions

What has this world come to?

We cannot trust anyone

And yet

Someone is going ahead with all these decisions

I wouldn’t trust myself

Therefore

We can trust no one

 

I guess you just don’t care

So why

Should I care?

Well

I do

 

First of all

You need to go

I don’t want to hear about you ever again

You have been there way too long

Probably because you are such a good speaker

You could get yourself out of anything

And yet bring this world to an end

Out! Out! Out!

 

I guess you just don’t care

But I do

 

Let me think about this

Let us think about this

Let me reconsider what’s happening

Let us reconsider what we should do

Never mind what happened before

Seems to me that it was all fabricated anyway

I never trusted you, rightly so

Let us stop for a second

To consider what’s happening

And where it’s leading

What to do

Someone has to stop you

 

I guess you just don’t care